Ode to Fanfic Writers,The Day the Pro.Cast Titanic
by Bandit
Summary: Well, you asked for it and here it is. Not as funny as the last one but, oh well. THeres some hard flaming in here, so if youra softie, don' read it....You're review reflected your personality to me so ...I wrote it down. Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday


Notes: i have been pushed and prodded by all of you to continue writing this wacked out story  
of the Xmen, so you're fault not mine if it turns out to be...erm... BAD???? Yeah, anyway, Merry Christmas!!! I love you guys!!  
  
  
  
Ode to Fanfic Authors aka The Day Titanic Was Casted By the Pro.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Cut!!" The director of Titanic yelled. "Okay NightCrawler? You are supposed to be drowning, not swimming drowning. You got that?" Kurt nodded his head miserably and sank under the water. "And Rogue, cling to the side of the board like it's your life in danger okay? Remy is your love and you're about to die!!! Lets get some expression here people!!"  
  
Bobby shook his head sadly. Ever since the Professor had seen the remaking of Titanic, he had…well…become obsessed. Not to mention the strain that had loomed over the household when the…the… Bobby didn't want to think about…*them*. "Bobby!! Get over here and make another iceberg!!"  
  
On the other side of the boat/stage: The fanfic writers lie in wait…  
  
"Bud get off me!! And stop touching my butt you perv!! Hissed Brandi. "Accident, accident!!" Yelped The bud as Brandi slapped him.  
The Spleen snickered. "Shut up man!!!" Bud growled. "Well, why don't you or I'll just have to shut you up!!" And with that, the Mean Spleen threw him off the boat.  
"Well, that's a load off of my back!!" Said Brandi.   
Everyone stared at her. "What? Whad' I say?"  
  
  
Back at the stage: The Xmen are tired of performing…  
  
"Well, I like my wig!! I think I play the part of Rose's mother perfectly well!!" Said the Professor as the Xmen glared at him. Storm cleared her throat.  
"Professor, all these times, all these years we have never once strained against you will, wild horses could not stop us from following your every command but this time-"   
"What 'Ros tryin' ta say Professor, is that this is a little to far and none of us want to see your little dragshow any longer." Said Logan.  
Scott looked guilty.  
"Well…"  
Everyone looked at him.  
"I mean, of course Professor, you have been a father figure to me and I would hate to see that go to waste!!" He cried sadly.  
*I do like how the Professor looks in a dress though… It's…just not fair!!*  
  
  
Meanwhile…back with the fanfic writers:  
  
"All right everyone, remember, the Xmen can be hostile at times…but usually they're okay. We just have to grab all they're clothes and erm….run." Directed Rehsh.  
"Run?" Whined WildCard. "But…Gambit naked…mannnnn…"  
  
Gambit's girl nodded. "Dude, I am so not running!"   
"I give up." Said Rehsh.  
"Well, I say we go get the Xmen and take all they're clothes but we have to run away before they catch us right I mean hello they're Xmen?"   
"Erm, Alex? What's with the run on sentences?" Said Snuffle raising an eyebrow.   
He shrugged.  
"COKE!!! Stop eating all the cheese and bachlava!! We have to save that to throw at the Xmen!!" Screamed Chica.  
Gambit Girl and Gambit's Girl stood up.  
"We…are going to go find Gambit okay?"   
"OOH OOH ME TOO!!" Screamed Remy's angel.  
"And I," said NightCrawler's Girl. "Will go find that sexy thang that calls himself Kurt!!"  
  
They raced off, ignoring Rehsh's cries of protest. "Well there goes our plan…"  
  
"Hey, what do you think you're do-" Scott had found them. "Oh GOD NOOOO!!!!" He screamed and the fanfic writer's gave chase in they're bus, Meg hanging out of the window and chucking bachlava.  
  
"Hmm. God, that man can wear spandex." One of the fanfic writers intoned staring after Scott's retreating back.  
  
"Weird." Said CandyLynn.  
"Definitely." Agreed kar.  
" Come therefore and let us fling bachlava at them!!!" Screamed Space Cadett at the top of his ( Her? You have to tell me if your a guy or a gurl!! Or both…eww.) lungs.  
Jennifer gave him a weird look and turned back to her cheese.  
  
  
Back at the set: Xmen are panicking…  
  
"AUGH!!! " Screamed Gambit as he was ducked underwater by Rogue, who was trying to climb on top of him to get away from the crazed fanfic writers who were, in fact, crazed…  
  
( There goes that song again…There's a hole in the bottom of the sea…nevermind. )  
  
"Well, isn't this nice?" Said the professor, sipping his tea and adjusting his shawl and flowered hat.  
"GOD NO!!!!" Screamed Scott as a particularly hard piece of cheese caused his visor to fly off.  
Toad was surrounded by girls who had painted their faces green and he was…well… he was happy.  
"Oh Toad!! Would you like some more nummy cookies? They're shaped like frogs…" Cooed Alena. "Eep."  
  
Jenny Was testing her bachlava throwing ability on Scott when Jean tried to stop her. "No! Scott needs his rest!! I can't stop you from hating each other, but I can slow you down!!" She shouted heroically, throwing herself in front of a piece bachlava.  
"Jean!! No!!" Scott whimpered.  
"You…you monster!!" He cried and Rage just looked at him. "What? I didn't throw the bachlava!"  
  
Rogue decided she had been on top of Remy long enough and she flew off to try to find The Bud (Who she didn't because he was recently floating desolately around), leaving Remy to bob around in the water.  
  
"REMY!!!!" Screamed all the Remy girls.  
"I'll give him mouth to mouth!!" Screamed one, diving forward. "No!!! I will!!!" Another screamed!!!  
They wrested around in the water, pulling hair and slapping each other.  
Meanwhile, Remy had woken up and was chatting with Cajun Quinn and Chastity, who was drooling over him.  
"Erm, {slurp} yeah Gambit, I feel that way too…" She sighed.  
  
  
Magdellin grabbed professor's hat and ran. "NOOO!!! THE PRETTY FLOWERS WILL GET WET AND FADED!!! YOU MUST USE TIDE!!!!" The Professor wailed.  
She passed it to NoHaven who threw it over the side of the ship, where it landed on The Bud. "Not the shawl!! Not my SHAWL YOU MONSTERS!!!" The Professor screamed. Nina giggled and whispered something to Andarielle, who adopted an evil look and snuck up behind the Professor. And pushed.  
  
"NOOOOooooo…" His voice dwindled away as he fell on top of the Bud, who was very cold and WET BY NOW!!!! (That's for making strange and sick jokes man.)  
  
KelticDream patted Scott on the shoulder. "I'm sure she'll be alright. The bachlava wasn't fatal."  
Scott sniffed. "Y-you think so?" The fanfic writer nodded and Scott smiled weakly and attached himself to KelticDream who tried to run, but couldn't.  
"Help…" Keltic Dream looked around. "Help puhleezzee?"  
  
Colossus was hiding behind a post on the Titanic, but to no avail. Kat had found him.  
"AUGH!!! KITTY HELP ME!!" He scream as she hung onto his neck. "I'll help you P-" Her voice was cut off by Valkyrie who had come to the rescue with a piece of cheese, which she plonked Kitty on the head with.  
"AUGH!!!" Screamed Peter. "YAY!!!" Screamed Kat.  
  
Rede clapped heartily as he watched Gambit's fan girls beat each other up. "Now this, this my friends, is entertainment!" He remarked to Cajun Quin and Gambit, who both nodded.  
Writegirl looked disgusted and she slapped Rede. "Okay, OW!!"  
Stormfalcon just cracked up.  
  
Over on the stern of the boat:  
  
"Oh Bobby I'm flying!" Yelled Jubilee as she balanced herself on the railing.   
"Um. Yeah." Bobby said, backing away.  
"YAHAHAH!!!" Laughed Natas evilly as the fanfic writer pushed Jubilee overboard. "No!! You dumb…dumb…" Bobby was at a loss of words. Flower Power laughed.  
"Ha! You Xmen think you're so cute!! Well, We will destroy y-"  
"Yeah…okay…"Said Bobby staring dazedly at her…  
"Erm…Bobby?" Came Jubilee's voice from the water below.  
"Not now Jubes…I'm busy…" Yelled Bobby, who was busy chasing Flower Power.  
  
Elderan sat with Bandit on the top of the ship, staring down at all the havoc Bandit had caused.   
"Well that was fun, wasn't it?"  
Bandit nodded. It was fun.  
  
"HELP ME!!!" Yelled Gambit, who had been discovered by all the girls.  
"HELP ME!!!" Yelled Colossus who had been discovered by Kat.  
"HELP ME!!!" Yelled Keltic Dream, who was being harassed by Scott.  
"HELP ME!!!" Yelled Jubilee.  
"HELP ME!!!" Yelled The Bud from the water below.  
"Not likely." Said the Spleen as he tossed the Professor's hat in the air.  
And everyone was either really really happy, or really really sad. Or in Jeans' case…erm…dead from a fatal piece of bachlava. ::Pats Scott on head:: Shhh. No no really, she's all right. Really. Shhhhh.  
  
  
Notes: I thought this story would not take this long. I was wrong. I had to print out the whole list of the people that reveiwed my last Ode and then I had to find places for all of them. Beat THAT J.K Rowling!!!heehee  
Merry Christmas!!  



End file.
